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  • Writer's pictureOonagh McAteer

What single people want you to know

If you have a single friend, the best way to help them is listening. Be objective, just because you think you would be okay single – do not say things like “you don’t need a partner”, you’re better off alone”, “look at old aunt Margaret she was always happy alone”. And maybe Margaret was quite happy, but please do not assume you know what your friend wants or what is best for them.

Once you have listened and know they do actually want to find a partner, help by offering practical advice. There are a LOT of online dating apps and matchmaking services, maybe you could help them look into which ones would be best for their needs.

When your friend does find a partner, don’t be too quick to jump in with judgements, so maybe they don’t look like the person you imagined for them, or you wouldn’t be seen dead with them – they aren’t asking you to have a relationship with them!

If you are being too judgemental your friend will be less likely to want to share their journey with you or worse still, make a decision about their next steps with this potential partner based on how you reacted instead of considering why they were attracted to them in the first place.

On the other hand, don’t push your friend into seeing someone because you think they are the bee’s knees. If your friend has a gut feeling that it isn’t meant to be, they are probably right.

Also try to avoid always bringing up dating mistakes or disasters or missed opportunities in the past, your friend may be laughing with you but what you are doing is damaging their confidence in themselves to make the right choice.

Oonagh McAteer



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